I think this is intended to be humorous. I think.

There are two pages..don't miss the second!

http://www.theheraldbulletin.com/columns/l...=secondarystory

the carousel is pretty wicked nowadays....

It's like a trip report from Debbie Downer. On the bright side it sounds like they could avoid bathroom visits 'cuz they were probably wearing adult diapers. And she didn't mention that anyone lost their false teeth on the high speed carousel.

Not only did they make everything faster, I heard that the cap ex plans for 2008 including replacing the current elevator in the Eiffel Tower with a Wonkavator. It can go up and down, sideways and slantways, longways and backways, and squareways and front ways and any other ways that you can think of. It can take you anywhere in the whole park just by pressing one of these buttons. Any of these buttons. Just press a button and *zing*! You're off. And up until now, I've pressed them all... except one. This one. Go ahead, Charlie.

*ding*

Not only did they make everything faster, I heard that the cap ex plans for 2008 including replacing the current elevator in the Eiffel Tower with a Wonkavator. It can go up and down, sideways and slantways, longways and backways, and squareways and front ways and any other ways that you can think of. It can take you anywhere in the whole park just by pressing one of these buttons. Any of these buttons. Just press a button and *zing*! You're off. And up until now, I've pressed them all... except one. This one. Go ahead, Charlie.

*ding*

it's about time Kings Island caught up with the times...geez

Rides tampered with? Rides faster and more dangerous? Try faster and more thrilling. She made it sound like the rides were sabotaged. Leave it to some hick in Anderson to trash a great coaster park. If you can't stand the heat, stay off The Beast. Maybe she should have ridden the train all day.